


we're still the same

by softkitties



Series: aos s7 countdown fics [1]
Category: Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)
Genre: Angst, F/M, Post Season 6, kind of, post 6x13
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-24
Updated: 2020-05-24
Packaged: 2021-03-03 07:28:43
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,058
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24347266
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/softkitties/pseuds/softkitties
Summary: Melinda May finally wakes up, and she has no clue that the love of her life has been brought back from the dead (again), this time as a robot.Part one of four fics counting down until Season 7 starts.
Relationships: Life Model Decoy Phil Coulson & Jemma Simmons, Life Model Decoy Phil Coulson/Melinda May, Phil Coulson & Jemma Simmons, Phil Coulson/Melinda May
Series: aos s7 countdown fics [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1757803
Comments: 4
Kudos: 23





	we're still the same

**Author's Note:**

> oh my god it's been like 3 years since i did anything on here but i am back with agents of shield you're welcome

"She's awake."

Jemma's voice is soft. Phil looks up at her, and it's hard to tell, but his shoulders lower in relief. But he doesn't move from where he's sitting, watching the other agent gently. "That's good," he murmurs. He hesitates before continuing. "I don't think it's best for her to see me right now."

Jemma's lips purse, but she doesn't respond directly to what he says. "I can tell that you want to see her."

"The last time I remember seeing her, she was a HYDRA agent in the framework. Before that, she was missing and before _that,_ she was a robot." Phil's voice is quiet. "I think it's safe to say it's been a while."

"Yeah, and the last time she saw you, it was a demon from another dimension wearing your face," Jemma adds. She sounds jokingly exasperated, but there's no hiding the sadness in her tone. "We've all been through so much, it's hard to keep track."

"Does she know?" Phil asks. "About me being here?"

Jemma shakes her head. "Like I said, she just woke up. I don't know if the news would be better coming from you or not."

"I'll tell her," Phil says. "Don't know how it will go, though."

Usually, his heart rate would quicken at having to tell someone news like this, but now he doesn't have a heart - literally.

Jemma nods silently and leaves the room. Phil watches her leave and then sighs deeply, more for effect than anything. "You can do this, Phil," he tells himself. "Just walk in and say hi. You can think of the rest from there." 

-

He finds where on the Zephyr May has been, and knocks softly on the door, waiting for a response before entering. "Come in," comes a raspy voice from inside. Phil suddenly realises he has no clue what he's doing here, now. He should wait. Wait for May to be better, or for Jemma or Daisy to tell her that he's here. This is too much, for her _and_ for him.

Despite these thoughts, he turns the door handle and opens the door with a slow creaking noise. The second he sees Melinda May, his (emulated?) anxieties disappear and he can't stop a smile from appearing on his face. He forgets for a second that she has no clue why he's here or what he is.

"May," is all he breathes out.

May's reaction is almost immediate. She jumps to her feet and into a fighting stance, though Phil can see how she inhales sharply through her teeth at the pain. Phil raises his hands, trying to look as non threatening as possible. "I've heard about what happened to you, and it's okay. I'm not here to hurt you."

May's eyes are sharp and cold. "What kind of _horror_ are you? I've already dealt with someone with Coulson's face, and that didn't end well for him."

"No, no, I'm one of the other terrible things we've faced," Phil replies, giving her a soft, wry smile. "Gotta say, I didn't think this would be how this went down."

He inhales deeply before continuing. "I'm an LMD. I have all of my memories until we left the framework, but Jemma's filled me in on what's happened since you left. May, I'm-"

"An LMD," May echoes, not moving or softening at all, though for a second Phil thinks he sees something flash in her eyes. "A fucking LMD."

"Well, I guess I wouldn't say they're something _we_ faced, because I don't remember facing any LMDs with you, but-" Phil corrects himself under his breath.

" _We?_ " May echoes once more, this time with a scoff. " _We_ didn't do anything. Coulson and I were in the framework. You're something trying to be him, just like Sarge."

Phil stares at her, jaw slightly agape, searching for words but finding none. He realises that she might be right on this one. 

"I know I'm not real like you are, or like I- he was," he says slowly. "But I remember most of what happened, from the framework and real life. From my, or his, point of view. How does that make me any different?"

May doesn't reply. Silence fills the room. All Phil hears is one set of breathing, coming from May. He doesn't breathe anymore. Doesn't need to.

Small things like this feel so unsettling to him. The way he doesn't need to inhale or exhale, the way he doesn't have a heart that beats anymore. And the way he won't age.

He also realises that if he does something out of line, if he even physically can, the team has the power to just shut him off, just end him right then and there.

May might be coming to these conclusions right now too. Maybe she's thinking of finding the way to shut him down. Could he blame her?

Finally, May replies. “Why?” she asks, and there’s no mistaking the crack in her voice. “Why would they bring you here?”

“It isn’t to hurt you, I promise,” Phil says gently. “Simmons told me it’s because of what I know about SHIELD history.”

“Because we’re in the past,” May finishes icily, looking tired. “Simmons told me that much.”

“Yeah.” Phil nods with a smile, letting his arms down. That sounds more like the Melinda he knows. “Yeah, that’s all. I’m not here to hurt anyone. I’m not like our last experiences with LMDs.”

May takes a moment to reply, and when she responds, her tone is the opposite of what Phil hopes for.

“I don’t care if you’re not here to hurt us. I don’t want to see anyone parading around pretending to be Phil,” she says coldly, emphasising each word. “If I don’t have to see you, I won’t.”

His jaw clenches as he hears her. It’s not her icy words that hurt him, but the barely concealed pain he can hear in her voice. She stares at him, and he looks back gently, compassion and sadness clear on his face.

“Okay,” he whispers after a few moments, though the time before he replies feels infinite. He nods at her - a strangely robotic kind of nod - and then leaves, shutting the door quietly behind him.

 _Great talk, Phil,_ he thinks, leaning against the door and holding the bridge of his nose. _Great talk._


End file.
